So, tell me…
Have you ever been so excited and nervous about something at the same time that you just had to tell someone else about your amazing idea, only to hear them respond with comments that make you wonder why you’re even on this earth, leading you to question your whole entire life and if your amazing idea is really amazing?
We call people like that: naysayers.
According to Cambridge Dictionary, Naysayers are people who say something is not possible, is not good, or will fail.
Here’s my definition:
people who can’t see past their own experiences, failures and mistakes to wish you well and to believe that anything is possible for you.
The crazy thing about naysayers is that they aren’t the people you pass by in aisle 2 of the grocery store, while searching for your favorite cereal.
Naysayers are usually your mom, dad, favorite Aunty, annoying but caring uncle, close friend since high school, older sisters, and the list goes on and on.
Naysayers only come in the form of people you love.
Because, who cares what the person in aisle 2 of the grocery store thinks of us anyway?
But we absolutely, of course, care what our family and friends think of us.
So what do you do when they basically ball up your idea like a piece of paper and throw it in the trash?
You ignore them.
You pick up your balled up piece of paper, open it back up, put it in a nice tidy folder, and keep pushing.
You listen to your gut that keeps telling you that you deserve a better job, a better career, a better life. And, you work hard to accomplish your amazing plan anyway.
Then, you keep it cute the next time said person asks about your amazing idea and the progress you’ve made in your life.
Until, you can show and prove, without saying a word. Or, until you can respond with a short 3-word sentence of: “I did it.”
Then, you’ll come to see that said naysayer is the main one telling all his coworkers and friends about the amazing thing you accomplished.
Yep, that’s how it works.
Sounds easier said than done. And sometimes it takes months and years for everything to come full circle.
Like when I had to endure naysayers for 5 years, from high school through college, because all my Nigerian family and friends thought I would end up homeless because I majored in PR. But, instead I ended up getting a job 3 days after graduation.
From first-hand experience…
So, from a person who’s dealt with naysayers all her life, I can tell you:
The more you ignore them and listen to your own voice, the more you eventually stop letting what others think dictate what you think about your career, relationships, goals, or whatever amazing idea you have.
Naysayers mean well. They would probably be devastated to know that their comments broke you in the way that they did.
Naysayers want the best for you.
But the problem is, they only want their best.
Their advice only goes as far as what worked for them. And if they couldn’t imagine your amazing idea working for them, in their mind, there’s no way it will work for you.
That’s why you have to ignore them.
Because it’s not about them.
It’s about you.
*This was originally shared in my weekly newsletter. Join my email list for more exclusive tips, advice, and resources to elevate your career and life.